Scylla, Charybdis and Big Girl Pants

I could write about any number of things this week. As it's the first time I've had to capture my reflections in writing, I'm just going to take the opportunity to remind myself that I wanted to use this blog to write about research process.
Originally, I thought I might write about one of the books I have been reading (Making the Most of Your Research Journal, Nicole Brown) because of what it was bringing up for me. In fact, I did start that blog earlier in the week, but something techy happened and my writing was lost :/  Anyhow, I decided to take it as a sign and - yeah, yeah, I know that's superstition, but that's what I decided!
'Right, go on then ... What comes to mind about how my research process been this week?'

I think I want to tell you about taking stock after receiving some feedback on a discussion about my research intention. The feedback had initially been validating - so much so that I was moved to tears. Afterwards, when the comments had sunk in though, I was stopped in my tracks because it means taking a path that I hadn't anticipated. In a (rare?) moment of wisdom, I vowed not to spring into action, but to leave it to my subconscious to figure out. I don't know about you but I do like to sleep on things before I make a big decision.

Not much seemed to happen in that self-permitted pause, but I did hear (again) something that a wise friend had said to me a few years ago when I told her I didn't want to put my head above the parapet: "Well, you're going to have to!" Gulp! Which parapet do I want to stick my head above?

The mythical yet meaningful story of Scylla and Charybdis is coming to mind now because, in truth, it's daunting. I may have to wear my Big Girl Pants. After all, in some moments this week, I acknowledged a chance that I might feel hurt or shamed along the way. Am I strong enough? How will I navigate the deadly whirlpool while I attempt to manage the enticing siren calls? Can I manage my symptoms of rejection sensitivity well enough to weather possible storms? Eek ...

... But, as I wrestle with these questions, I am also the voices of so many cheerleaders that, amongst the uncertainty, I am finding strength and reassurance in knowing that I am not sailing the treacherous waters between Scylla and Charybdis alone. I have a crew  of cheerleaders alongside me in my boat and I am already grateful for you all.